Thank you, 2013

I am a girl who likes lists. I also like planning. The end of the year gives me both. The illusion that things will change because I choose to, the hope that I will be able to.

2013 was a banner year in good and bad. I believe that it has been a crazy, inspired, heartbreaking, lovely, devastating, 364 days so far, and I have become a different person because of it. Decisions I’ve made and the decisions of people around me have molded me into something else than the person I was before it. I’m still a little broken, a little guarded. I have issues that if I’m not careful, I’ll carry with me forever.

I have also learned to smile more, to laugh more loudly. I have experienced the happiness of so many simple things. Of just being. Of a heart that is so big that you feel overwhelmed by the sheer goodness of it. Of hands so open to others, you’d think it’s insane.

I am facing 2014 with a heart that’s new. The battered, bruised, scarred clump of muscle reborn. Ready.

My list to accomplish this 2014 is strangely simple. I want to stay happy. That’s it. How I’m going to do that, is a little more complicated. But I sure as heck will try my best.

And I am happy to have the best people around me to do it.

Thanks and goodbye 2013. It was nice to know you. Don’t come back okay?