Endings

Lately I’ve been thinking about endings. They say everything looks better in hindsight, but this is not something I agree with. I think everything looks better in hindsight only if you’re sad. If it feels right, then you see what ended clearly. What it was, what it wasn’t. And to quote a colleague in a phrase I heard the past several months quite often, “It is what it is.”.

Life will never be perfect. Something will always be a little bit off. You may be extremely happy, yes, and content with what you have, but it will never be 100% going your way. It just takes your choices and outlook to see if you’re good with the life you’re living.

So I ask myself these questions every so often. Enough to nudge myself if something is not quite right, and move myself from where I am if it’s not.

So dear reader, tell me:

Are you staying with something or someone because it’s what you want, or it’s what’s comfortable? Is it really where you see your life going? Do you think you contribute? Is it enough for you to be comfortable and good?

Or do you want more? Are your feet itching to take a leap of faith? Do you need a new challenge, or get yourself out of the rut you’ve been in for some time now?

And that’s why I find myself facing another ending, with something I never thought I’d say goodbye to. I am leaving my current work as a Christmas elf and finding what it is that makes me happy. It is a flying leap of faith, but it feels right, real, and time to go. I no longer want to feel uninspired and want to devolve into phoning in to a job that deserves much more. To contribute to a place that needs me, and makes the bone tired feeling that isn’t shaking off so far, worth it.

I will miss the people I have come to love not just as colleagues but as dear friends. The people that make the heavy, just a little bit lighter when you laugh off the absurd things that you need to deal with day to day. The people that I’ve shared a career with, from writer to email agent to senior supervisor at something I absolutely had no experience with before. I am grateful for the opportunities given to me, and amazed at how quick these almost 5 years have been with them, and hoping that those who will want to stay, will stay.

I am leaving a changed person, and I am hoping a better one, and the next adventure, I hope it’s awesome.