In my 2007-2009 earphones always in my ears, blasting on top volume phase when I was still working in an office, you might have overheard me listening to this on the elevator. Back then, my IPOD nano was carefully curated with 800+ songs that I carefully picked out and edited on an almost daily cadence (I had the time, maybe because I wasn’t much of a team player then). My defense mechanism and how I avoided social interaction was to keep my earphones on, and it helped that I really liked listening to music.

Julianne was part of the easy listening, pretty girl vocalists of the time. She wasn’t as famous as Sitti, or Juris and the others, but she had really great lyrics and melodies, but my favorite has to be Empty Chairs. It’s hard to find, and recently I was so happy to have found it on Spotify. It’s very simple, the lyrics are here:

There were moments
That I wanted you around
Moments I wanted you
To pick me off the ground
Was is something I said
I did or did not do
A detail left out
Of the list of my being with you

Do you know coz I don’t understand
Can you tell me coz I can’t comprehend
Always thought that you were on my side
Now you’re walking away
Walking away
Leaving me behind?

Now all I see are empty chairs I have to fill
Makes me think about all what you said
What lies ahead
Am I capable of living my life still
Now that you’re not by my side
And I remembered
That was your empty chair to fill

Here I am
With my final role to play
Left to finish what we
Started on that fateful day
There I was your girl
Your star your best friend
Now empty handed
Are you telling me
This is how the story ends?

I’m telling you things
You shouldn’t known right from the start
When all I ever asked of you
Was to be there
I could’ve swallowed all my pride
For all I care
But you kept taking more that I could give
So go ahead walk out the door

It’s a little needy, quite codependent for most of it, but then, she gives herself credit in the end. I like that. Very simply, the story hasn’t changed, even if it hurts, go ahead.

I’m not trying to say something here, except I hope you find meaning in the songs you listen to today. I know I will keep on keeping on, finding solace in music or even giving my heart more grief by doing so, but I will feel every emotion because it needs to be felt.

What songs are you listening to today?