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33: First, solitude
This past December, I took my first solo trip. Officially solo, I didn’t stay with any friends or meet up with a loved one at any point, I was by myself for the whole duration of the trip. This baffled the people I joined tours with, who were all couples/a couple with their daughter. They made comments about how women can do this now but why would they do so, and that they hadn’t done this and were now married and I get it. Solo travel never appealed to me much. Probably because I wanted someone to listen to my jokes or ask for extra pillows when checking into the…
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525,600 minutes later
This time last year, I was probably nodding off to sleep in the room my sister and I had at Montemar, savoring and digesting the heavy early dinner we had because the kitchen closed at 10 pm. I was on melatonin to try and sleep more than 2 hours at night time and failing, waking up in the middle of the night and dreading 32. It just seemed so unremarkable, so dreary, to be moving to my mid 30s in the middle of picking up the pieces of my heart, after an inevitable break. It was depressing, and even if my sister was a massive help, the quietness of the…
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Hello, Goodbye
This is an old photo, one taken late 2015. It keeps popping up in my head though. I keep thinking about new beginnings and what it means to the old things that I have closed chapters on in my life. The old jobs. Friends I no longer talk to. People I’ve loved and lost. It’s amazing how many new steps also means walking away from the person you were before, the one you thought was the one you were gonna be. I’ve always been so sure of my life, the path I wanted, but 2018 threw me for a loop. It was a doozy of a year and ultimately, made…
