The human heart was—and remains—a mystery to me. But I’m learning. I have to. —Anthony Bourdain
Status report: Daily hive eruptions, sometimes needing more than one antihistamine. Caffeine taken care of a daily mini coke + cold brew.
Moments from last week:
Just one. We lost 16% of the company to a reduction in force last Friday. It was a heartbreaking day, and we’re still reeling.
Our Chibi breathed her last breath in my arms this last Friday. Chester and I are lost.
Chester and I lost our girl late Friday night to a bad bout of GI stasis. We were able to say goodbye and hold her close while she left this existence.
We are both broken.
Status update: Migraines and insomnia. Advil close to running out, and Tylenol has stopped working for headaches. Is the insomnia causing the migraines or are the migraines causing the insomnia?
Life is short moments of the week:
1. Chipped teeth getting fixed. Teeth are expensive, and now even more so. I broke two front teeth and was semi-hillbilly like for a day. It was nice seeing the dentist I’ve seen since I was in the single digits. Couple decades later and we’ve seen her get married, have two kids, and now have one graduate college.
2. Routine checkups turning into health scares. Mom is great about regular checkups, dad not so much. She took him with her on a routine checkup that turned very scary for a couple days. Thankfully it was handled (not by me, but people who are actually awake and around when doctors are on), but here’s crossing all fingers and toes that it resolves soon. I haven’t seen my doctors since the pandemic started, but I hope it’s not terrible. (i know i know. I’ll figure it out)
3. Seeing family. Family time is amazing and is a great way to reset. We had to go home for Ninang’s 40 days, and to finally clean out Nanay’s things. As a grandkid that didn’t grow up with her and having limited shared memories, I was very thankful to have an opportunity to reminisce. Also to take some of her things home. I’m literally going to be rocking some grandma style soon and I can’t wait.
Song of the week: Hold my Hand by Jess Glynne
-J
Status update: Two almost caffeine migraines, and antihistamine sleep aids with some random af nightmares.
Life is short moments of note:
1. Learning to make a childhood favorite. I have an aunt that makes the most amazing food. She has always been skilled in the kitchen. Anything that she makes is the best version of it (but definitely the least healthy). My favorite is a squash vegetable mix that she makes with okra, eggplant, fresh shrimp shells, and apparently, the fat from frying pork. I made it this week with the shrimp shells i stuck in the freezer, but no pork fat oil. It was great, but missing squash blossoms and a bit more umami (just needs more oink). But it was great. It reminds me the next time I’m in the bay, I’ll ask her for her cooking secrets. Nobody writes anything down in this family.
2. Assembling my first desk. I have always had help with my furniture, and the last thing I assembled I’ve thrown out because of my shoddy work, and almost gave up on the replacement as well. My other desk, which was a gift, was falling apart. I was picking up screws and hinges and it was basically at risk of collapsing any moment. I knew I shouldn’t be too dependent on other, more skilled people and learn to at least put together a desk. So I did. It hasn’t fallen apart yet which is promising.
3. Baked goods. I have been having entirely too much. But in a very comforting way. I know I need to have less sugar — but it helps to stay awake. And have something nice when things are rough.
Song of the week: Have a Little Faith In Me by Joe Cocker
-J
