Category: Gratitude

Things that made me happy lately, March 8, 2023
Gratitude · Love/Life · Songs to listen to · Thanks

Things that made me happy lately, March 8, 2023

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: BP so high I was a stroke risk, daily hives, migraine immediately at hour 13 of no caffeine. However! Gave up coca cola and baked desserts for Lent. Wish me luck.

Because of the ~fragility~ of life and me feeling every single one of my 36 years on earth lately, I will be putting more emphasis on the little things that make me happy. Because life is too fucking short not to.

Happy things since I last documented:

1. Isabel’s Meal plans. Planning food for one is tough. I make things for a minimum of 5 people. Groceries are expensive as hell right now. I have zero prep time because of everything else that needs fixing. I have done meal deliveries in different shapes and forms, and my favorites so far are Isabel’s, and also The Six Pack Chef. I am not dieting per se. I am rewiring my tendency to go for the fastest, greasiest thing (I love Jin Ramen’s mild with egg, sesame oil, and some milk in it) to something more nutritious on a regular basis. I actually think it’s working because I need muc less salt in things, and look for the leaf crunch a lot. It’s not cheap, but it’s cheaper than lipo (joking. For now.)

2. Mango season. The Philippine mango, in all bias, is amazing. I would eat it everyday if it wasn’t so expensive. While it grows the whole year, it’s in season the first quarter, which means more consistent sweetness, cheaper. It’s also Indian mango season and our tree produces the sweetest ones I’ve had. I literally can make it into shakes if I wanted to.

3. Getting things done. It’s been rough trying to get all these adult requirements (government registrations, payments and the like) the past few weeks, but it’s slowly getting done. Can it be easier? F yes. Will it? We’ll see. But for now, the dopamine hit of checking something off the list will have to do. Slow and steady. One thing at a frigging time.

Songs that defined this time:

Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours by Stevie Wonder

Found a Reason by Smle

This is How I Learn How to Say No by Emeline

What made you happy lately? -J

I hope you live a life that makes you happy
Cheese · Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

I hope you live a life that makes you happy

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

There have been a few things that has brought to my attention, how time has passed in my life, and how I am “no longer a spring chicken”. The first being — the rabbit I have lived with for 8 years being called an old man by his vet. The second, the realization that my friendship from high school turns two decades old this year. The last, that during a routine blood pressure check, I was at a 160/90.

These three things may seem small, but I’ve been thinking about them a lot. I have a very simple life. I work, I hang out with my rabbits, and if I’m lucky, I get to hang out with my loved ones. Rinse, repeat. It is a very routine, predictable cycle, that I would enjoy a break from now and then. The beginning of this year, for almost a full month, was out of the box for me, with a lot of socialization, a lot of driving, and a lot of unusual things that took me out of an uncomplicated pattern for a little bit.

So I think I’m just going to say fuck it and make this a year of Doing things that make me happy. As long as I am not hurting others deliberately, still be able to provide for my rabbits, and relatively survive, I think — it’s time to stop thinking about the next 30 years, but think of the next 30 days, or weeks.

The way I’m going, this life is killing me slowly anyway, I might as well enjoy it. Maybe be a bit less conservative with my choices, and live because I still can. People die everyday. Quickly because of car crashes, or they decide they’re done and hang themselves on a rope, or because their body was just like, “Fuck you, I’m going to grow a tumor in your brain that you can’t treat and just ravage you until you’re left a shell of the vibrant, sarcastic person you once were.” We don’t know what life decides to deal us tomorrow. Nothing is fair. We don’t get better chances because we do good for others. So do good for you. Before it’s too damn late.

So what have I done lately that made me happy? Here are a few highlights of 2023 so far, in no particular order:

  • Today’s “Tita” hedonistic day of farmer’s market food, 2.5 hour massages, and Korean barbecue. Anne, Joannaman, and myself taking hard earned money and in my opinion burning it well, and with no one to have to explain to.
  • Being able to travel with my best friend again — to a new destination (Bali), and an old favorite (Hanoi). Verdict: Bali was semi peaceful, especially in the Ubud hilly area, with all the rice fields, but the croaks of frogs ruined peace for me. I get the appeal, but I’m not sure I would go back, unless I had someone to carry me over the sides.
  • Peeper Peeps being such a big personality. Her side muffin. Her way of always bounding over when she hears the slightest crinkle of a bag. When she tucks herself in with the rug when we turn the AC on. I love her. I wish Chunky and Chibi could have met her. She is still very much a defensive bun, but her 4 years of living as a foster is the cause of that — she is still a very happy one, and for that I am grateful.
  • A gorgeous view in an unusual place. Even ill-advised airbnbs can still surprise you. I am not a person to “staycation”, much more so to places that have a tough drive. Even more when the bathroom isn’t great. However, the saving grace of a staycation airbnb with a drive that almost made me weep, a view of Metro Manila people like me in the middle of it rarely see. A quiet, almost haunting skyline of smog, lights, and millions of people almost a little too far away for comfort.  Clean air you can truly breathe deep in. And best of all, stars that shone brighter because of less light pollution. I missed looking at stars and not having to hurry up to go somewhere or go back to sleep. I do like nature, when there are no frogs to ruin it.

Songs of the year so far:

Flowers by Miley Cyrus

Say it First by Sam Smith

July by Noah Cyrus and Leon Bridges

Life is short, week 46 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Thanks

Life is short, week 46 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

One year ago today, we lost a light in the world. The whole point of my Life is short year was inspired by him. I only knew him for several months, only hung out with him a few times, but it was more than enough to be thankful for.

Today I’m having sushi for Josh because he can’t hit his “last meal place”. Every time I’m close, I will have a set at Sugarfish for him.

Life is short folks. Hold your loved ones a little bit closer. Tell them you love them more. I know I have said I love you more in the past year more than I’ve done so my whole existence.

Song of the week: Godspeed by Frank Ocean

-J

Life is short, week 42 of 52
food · Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Life is short, week 42 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: Second booster kicked my 🍑 but it’s better than risking my third season of covid.

Here are my reminders of the week about why we get up in the morning:

1. Pepper moving in with me and Chester. So it hasn’t been easy. In fact it’s been insanely difficult trying to fit two very territorial, not small, headstrong rabbits in such a small space, but we’re finding a way. Her full name is now Pepperoncini (family traditiion) and she’s a BIG GIRL. I love her already. I hope she and Chester find their love for each other soon.

2. Seeing family and eating a lot, too much, after almost 3 years. In traditional All Saint’s Day, it’s a whole day of sitting around mauseleums with family, praying and eating. Since we can’t risk it right now, we travelled as a whole group to go early. Had several moments of note. All the food was amazing. Definitely worth the trek.

3. Meaningful conversations. I’ve had a lot of meaningful conversations lately. It takes a lot out of me, but it matters. Taking the time to show up for myself, and people I care about, matters. It also helps to keep yourself in check, and being vulnerable also helps us keep ourselves real.

Song of the week: Feel so Good by Mase

-J

Life is short, week 38 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Life is short, week 38 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status update: Recent developments are only being able to sleep in alternate “evenings” so my zombie days are more frequent. Antihistamine 3x last week for bad hives, but still kicking.

Moments of the week:

1. Not getting the brunt of a category 5 typhoon. A lot of my countrymen suffered a lot, and actual heroes died saving people from floods. My family and myself were safe. We were actually even able to have a good meal outside, the first in a really long time. I’m very grateful for that.

2. Just having conversations. Humans are social animals and this pandemic has changed how we relate to each other. Just being social is now dangerous. I think that just means that we have to make an effort, even if it’s not our normal.

Song of the week: Bad Boy by Mase

Life is short, week 37 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Work

Life is short, week 37 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status update: Hives but no asthma. So better? Fatigued as heck all the time, and need to carve time out to row.

I know I’m missing weeks and should clean up but I have zero desire to do that right now.

Short moments of the week:

1. Overspending at the grocery store. So I may have bought enough for a cheese plate for 6, and have not started, and randomly a Kewpie smoke mayo that I put on all the fried things, and thinned out my wallet considerably, but it’s great. With all the things going on — I can barely enjoy making a meal, let alone make one. When I do have time I will enjoy it. And I will find peoples to feed.

2. Chester, after 8 years, coming up when I call his name. He really must be bored. It’s SO CUTE though.

3. Turning an emotionally loaded change to something promising. It has not been without challenges — and let me tell you, I’ve been SO UNPROFESSIONAL, but blame it on insomnia and nerves. You never know how far you can go without being tested, and I hope this is a good thing eventually.

Song of the week: Feel So Good by Mase

-J

Life is short, week 34 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Thanks · Work

Life is short, week 34 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status update: Two days of incredibly uncomfortable hearburn had me on my knees. Had me trying to figure out if giving up my start of work coffee and eventual caffeine withdrawal migraines is a bigger pain in the butt. Isn’t growing up awful?

Moments of the week:

1. Spontaneous outings that actually happen. Sunday Korean barbecue decided on 3 hours before and it actually happened. A great meal, then hanging out a friend’s place, then spontaneous massage appointments. Nothing like a super chill semi social day with people that have no expectations of who I can be besides myself. And laughing our asses off the whole time.

2. Chester’s 8th gotcha day. I have had more time with Chester than a lot of people that have come and go. It terrifies me how much of an old bun he is sometimes, but I am cherishing every second. He’s my emotional support animal, and I hope I am his. If that sounds sad, well, I just have to be okay with that.

3. Baseline setting with myself. Over and over, people keep showing me who they really are, and I want to start believing them. I am, at 36 years old, still using these filters of what I want people to be, not who they actually are. Even if they repeatedly reveal the opposite. If I want to survive this, I have to remember to just accept it.

Song of the week: Always on Time by Ashanti and Ja Rule

-J

Life is short, week 34 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Life is short, week 34 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: Phantom cigarette smoke triggering so much of my adult asthma, but hey, I can still breathe at the end of the day. Also losing sleep because Chester has been extra clingy lately and wanting his head rubs WHEN HE WANTS THEM, which is usually when it’s 2 am in the timezone I work. I’m lucky with him — and I am grateful for it.

Moments of the week that made me remember how life is short:

  1. A reset of where you are and who you are. I’ve been working in a space not my own, on my own for a dozen years. It’s been a weird feeling of feeling very comfortable and uncomfortable all at the same time. I’ve worked hard and made a lot of connections through the years, good and bad. I tell people I meet that a lot of my job is translation, and on good days, the translation you’ll see makes a difference with others, and on others, the necessity of it just makes the blood run cold. Last week was one of the cold blooded days where I had to remember to breathe deep and go high when another person went low. It’s something I struggle with after, because too often, when you’re not what people “expect” or are used to, you always have to be the bigger person. It’s exhausting, but when I think about it, I can’t change how people react to me or others like me, I can only change how I respond to it. The way to move forward is a slog, but it’s necessary.
  2. Accepting the limitations of where I am at this point in my life — when it comes to stamina and endurance. Please get your mind out of the gutter. All I mean is being able to stay up late like I used to. Even in my early twenties, friends always found a place for me to nap when we had chill nights drinking. I remember literally being told when I arrive at a space, where I could go and have my nap that I always had to have at some point. This weekend was the same. I had so much caffeine. I took half the day off to energize. It still was me by hour 26 of being so sleep deprived I couldn’t remember what I texted people. I have literally reread texts I sent the day after, and not having the memory of why I did that or what I actually wanted to say. In a room of (mostly) people younger than me, I was fighting to stay awake and wanted to really be there, but I had to admit defeat at some point. It’s a sobering idea, but also something I won’t worry about. It is what it is.
  3. Being in the same space with people I’ve spent most of my waking hours with for the past year or so. Adding to the sleep deprivation, the difficulty of being safe in the time of a global pandemic, the fact that there was a not easy amount of rain the past couple days, people needing to fly in, Metro Manila traffic, all these other things all came together this weekend. If only several hours of sharing a meal and an experience together. These former simulations of people are now actual humans, and I will always be grateful for that.

Song of the week: Maybe This Time by Liza Minnelli

-J

Life is short, week 33 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Work

Life is short, week 33 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: Finished my nebules, and I don’t know if I’m hallucinating the cigarette smoke going into the vents.

Life moments of the week:

1. Chester being back at the vet, diagnosed with stress. I get it Chester, I miss her too. So much so this week, when I realized how much you follow me around now. She was such a big personality, and she loved on both of us so well, that we’re both feeling the hole she left. It’ll get better, I promise.

2. A wake up call. There’s nothing like a jarring realization to reset you. This past week, I got a punch in the gut of sorts and had to walk away for a minute. It was frankly, demeaning, but also, a good way to pull me back to earth. You never really know until it gets called out — how much your efforts mean to people. Two years ago, this would have prompted a lot of emotional reactions. Now it’s more reason to find meaning in not just one part of my life. Including evaluating where I am and where I need to be. Maybe I’m learning to be more mature. Or maybe I already know where I need to get to.

3. Being able to sing again. I have been literally coughing for a month. So much so if I have more than 30 minutes of conversation, I lose my voice. So I haven’t been singing. Not even speaking when I don’t have to. It’s being managed by really good asthma medication (And overtesting against covid) and now I can sing again. And I have been hitting musicals. Lea, Idina, Kristin

Song of the week: This is Me by Kaela Settle

-J