Gratitude
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Hello, summer
It’s been a rocky few days for Metro Manila. A water shortage has crippled thousands and has made the heat that has come in even more difficult. It’s hard to be thankful for beautiful things when you feel grimy and thirsty and don’t know when your next bath is. So far my solutions are cold drinks and ice cream (still dreaming of the Cremia ice creams from Osaka) and water tumblers full of icy water. We’ve put out all our water containers and now alarming amount of reusable bottles we didn’t know we had and filled them with water for drinking and the rest of our pails and drums with…
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Life will out
I’ve had time to myself this past year. For a number of different reasons. Surprisingly, I’ve found that I actually enjoy the solitude sometimes. Walking around, just listening to music on earphones, or just enjoying the view, there have been a lot of introspective moments for me. It has been educational. Defeaning. Sometimes defeating. Not to say I don’t enjoy the company of others. I do. There is nothing that makes me happier than sitting with my friends, the people I love and just listening to them laugh. I admit sometimes I just let my mouth run away from me, if it makes them happy, it’s worth it. But I…
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You lucky SOB
I catch myself complaining a lot, and 2018 was not a year that I was very positive about a lot of things. When life threw me for a loop, I bitched and moaned about it. A lot. And I can recognize venting and mourning loss, but I also have to acknowledge what a lucky son of a Barbie (I won’t curse at my mother today) I am. In 2018: I got to be there a lot more for what turned out to be our Nanay’s last year. I spent a lot of times with my friends, and made a few new ones. I finally got to deal with my health,…
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Merry Christmas Nanay
Dear Nanay, We were all home and got to spend Christmas together (except for Ann but you know she’s committed to the thing). We ate a bunch of things. Ninong taught most of us a game. The fathers drank whiskey, the kids (is it still kids if no one is younger than 21?) drank bottles of sweet wine. You were still part of the raffle, and actually got to the end, but lost out to Joannaman. I bet if you did win you’d give it to us anyway like the year you did win the top prize. Almost all the kids give gifts now so it took a good 15…
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Saying goodbye
Another month, another wake. This time though, I am not the one offering my condolences but one of the people being offered theirs, because our family lost our Nanay. She wasn’t young at 89. She had already outlived all other grandparents by at least 5 years. It wasn’t a surprise, as she had been in the hospital for around a month, and we had known when they found a mass that it wasn’t going to be long. We couldn’t go for treatment because of her age and already existing health issues, and we had resigned to just making her feel comfortable. We say it’s a blessing to have her out…
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Can I keep you?
Lately I’ve been thinking about loss. With my sister and a friend going to wakes one day after the other, another terrible number up on this year’s wake count, I cannot help but think of who we can keep. Honestly, I am quite lucky, my parents are both here and generally healthy (I say generally because they are not perfectly there but that’s another conversation entirely). I got time with both grandmothers and one grandfather. My mom’s siblings are all thriving. Cousins are intact and can be direct messaged or sent embarassing videos at any time. Friends who’ve stayed are those who are amazing (and even saw me through my…
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Hug your fathers
Yesterday, two more people in my circle lost their dads. TWO MORE. 2018 has been such a rollercoaster of emotions but I think seeing people I love lose their fathers has been the most heart wrenching of them all. Too many funerals, too many tears shed, too many Christmases that will be forever changed now that they’re gone. I had a draft penned, a letter about a fat shaming person in my circle but it all seems so trivial now. Today, and for the rest of the week, I will mourn with my friends of their loss. So if you still have a dad, hug them today. I never hug…
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How we deal with privilege (or lack of it)
Lately I’ve been thinking about privilege. Privilege, from my understanding, is an advantage you’ve been given, one that is not afforded by a lot of the population. There are a lot out there, mostly given through birth and/or timing. A friend jokes about this a lot with another, when there is talk of politics, especially in the US. Race is a privilege we can only be birthed into, the rest, I do think we can acquire. Wealth and beauty are privileges that some people come into naturally, and the ones that can be most fleeting. Age can wreak havoc on one’s appearance, and wealth can easily be spent away if…
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I think you should listen to “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” today
I am a big fan of the classics and The Rolling Stones are one of the greats. With all this talk of self care and positivity, we can forget that the past has some advice for us too. I think music is one of the better ones, with songs that reach generations. One of these songs is Rolling Stones’s You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Lyrics are here: [Verse 1] I saw her today at the reception A glass of wine in her hand I knew she was gonna meet her connection At her feet was a footloose man [Chorus] You can’t always get what you want You…
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Thankful Tuesdays
This Tuesday I am grateful for: Globe’s quick turnaround for our backup internet. Finally on Fiber after 6 months! Life hack that saved me from buying a replacement travel tumbler. 200 and a very helpful salesguy and my beat up Starbucks tumbler is back in business! Queer Eye. I love each and every one (but have a soft spot for Bobby and Tan) and they are now my new go to happy show. Anthony Bourdain. He would have been 62 today (June 25 US time). The world is grateful and we miss you. What are you grateful for on this gloomy Tuesday?
