Love/Life · Songs to listen to

I think you should listen to Mac Miller’s Manakins today

Maybe it’s the food poisoning and not being able to eat anything, but Mac Miller has been so helpful today. And also pretty sad. I was putting off listening to this release because I wanted to be in a lighter headspace, but Balloonerism is just so easy to fall into.

They tell you that you need to sleep, and suddenly you do
Scared you gonna wake up as someone who isn’t you
We’ve all been down that road before, poured alcohol on open sores
Nobody can hurt me if I go inside and close the door

Excuse while I close the door. -J

Jodythinks · Love/Life · Songs to listen to

I think you should listen to The Weepies’s Volunteer today

It’s been a quiet, tiring week, perfect for listening to The Weepies.

With lyrics like these:

The metal straps upon my knees made this sound when I fell
You heard those words from your peers, I was just your volunteer.

And these:

How your life cuts me, it cuts to my bone.
We pretend that it’s nothing, when we’re on our way home.
And I wish you’d abandon me here so I could be your volunteer.

It’s hard not to feel it all. Listen to The Weepies’s Volunteer here.

Jodythinks · Love/Life · Songs to listen to

I think you should listen to Gracie Abrams’s I Love You, I’m Sorry today

Because of lyrics like these —

Two Augusts ago
I told the truth, oh, but you didn’t like it, you went home
You’re in your Benz, I’m by the gate
Now you go alone
Charm all the people you train for, you mean well but aim low
And I’ll make it known like I’m getting paid

That’s just the way life goes

Listen here

-J

Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Songs to listen to

What made me happy, September 25, 2023

Status report: MRI day. Trying not to have surgery, but I might need it.

What’s made me happy lately:

1. Chester’s 9th year with us. He has saved my life too many times to count. He has also cost me hundreds of thousands of pesos of damage, because he only chews expensive things. At least he has a sense of humor though. He’s become slow, his fur is less shiny, he’s lost weight, but he’s still my Chester. I can’t imagine a life without him. Here’s hoping I don’t have to find out soon.

2. Hotpot. Our family has a new favorite hotpot place, and I love to see it. We’re very routine people, and barely change our usual places to eat, especially if my dad is involved. A successful intro is almost miraculous because of how hard it is to pull off, but we did this past weekend.

3. Being back in my own space. I’m a little afraid of how much I like my own time, and my own space. Because of how fortunate I am with my work being remote and my family understanding what it means, anyone I see on a regular basis is someone I made an effort to be in the same space with. So when it goes awry, so does my mood. My buns and my friends who still show up may be sick of me, and I keep getting told I should go out more, but it’s so hard to do it. So I’m grateful I can take on Little Mermaid’s Ursula persona and just eat and complain in my own cave.

Songs of the week:

Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen

Losing Me by Gabrielle Aplin and JP Cooper

Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Songs to listen to

What made me happy, week of April 24, 2023

Status report: It’s been a week of barely controllable hive breakouts and random outbursts. I have been self medicating with a lot of sweets, sugary drinks, and acupuncture like ear piercings.

However in this rollercoaster of a week there are a few bright spots:

1. Getting more ear piercings. I have realized that earrings are the jewelry i really respond to. Even when we had a jewelry phase, i bought mostly earrings and rings. In the span of 2 months, I have added 4 (one did not work out) active piercings to one ear. I can’t recommend it enough if you have no fear of needles and like teeny jewelry. Just don’t touch your fresh piercing after carrying fresh shrimp from your car to your place.

2. Feeling like a girl again. It takes so much professionals to keep me looking halfway put together on a regular basis, and every single thing is in a different, specialized place. Nails get done in a different city. Hair is only at the guy who’s done it for at least the past 6 years. Brows only at this brow place in this one branch. And so on and so forth. And I still look like i rolled out of bed. You can’t even imagine what this looks like without help from people who know better that i pay for their expertise.

3. The people that show up. Bar none. It was an exceptionally tough week. I waved the flag. People showed up. They saved my life. I am thankful.

Songs of the week:

I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

Under Pressure by Queen

Rescued by The Foo Fighters

Up & Down by The Chainsmokers, 347Aidan

-N

Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Songs to listen to

Things that made me happy, April 11, 2023

Status report: Hives still keep happening, and my lower back hurts even with regular massages for Tita’s Hedonist Day Out. I need to figure this out.

What made me happy last week:

1. Family time. I don’t see my extended family a lot, especially since the move. This holy week holiday is one of those times we can see each other, be less worried about our day to day. I love sitting with my cousins, uncles and aunts, simply being around them. I don’t contribute a lot, and it seems like sometimes I’m closed off, but it’s just me being overstimulated sometimes. I wish I could be more present or more conversational, but I’m limited. Even more now that I’m used to being in my own space. One thing i know for sure, their presence makes me feel content, happy. The other things, I will work on so they enjoy my presence as much as I do theirs.

2. Puppy time. There are two litters of puppies we got to hang out with this weekend. Six shih tzus, and two belgian malinois ones. I missed puppies since we haven’t had puppies in years, and these ones are pretty dang cute. They’re all spoken for, and are going to good, caring homes. I’m glad I got to meet them and got some puppy kisses.

3. A friend going through the same journey. My health issues as of the late aren’t a secret. High blood pressure on top of my previously identified issues is the cherry on top of an already difficult health status is a hell of a thing to go through. I’ve been quite lucky to have family that’s extra supportive. Driving me to appointments, checking in. I can’t ask for anything more really. However I do have a friend that has been incredibly supportive, and is going through it as well. It has made all the work I have to do much less burdensome.

Songs of the week:

Tokyo Drift by the Teriyaki Boyz

Talking to Myself by Lauv

Work Song by Hozier

-J

food · Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Songs to listen to

Things that made me happy lately, March 27, 2023

Status report: BP monitor broke and I couldn’t get readings for 3 days, which coincided with a migraine that would not quit for 2. I must’ve had 4 coffees and 3 advils a day to try and address it, but the drugs and caffeine wouldn’t work. Recent theory, too much heat.

My happy things:

1. This moment from Fleabag. In as much as this was a pretty messed up pairing in theory, the chemistry, the connection, all the things that led to this bittersweet moment, it just, makes the emo teenager in me come alive. Especially the line “When you find somebody you love, it feels like hope.”, in this incredibly hellish simulation of modern life, hope feels preposterous.

2. Two amazing restaurants in a week. One family favorite, and one we tried once and have always wanted to get back to. It’s very difficult to get our dad to try anything, or really, deviate from the 5 restaurants he picks from on a regular basis. This can get frustratingly challenging sometimes, especially for birthdays that are not his. However, we were able to get to places this past week that he didn’t hate. Wins in themselves. But also, meals that I don’t have to think about that just go well? Great.

3. Phone calls. See, most of my phone calls are things I have to attend for work. Some were incredibly tense last week, but I did get on non tense, just refreshingly honest ones with friends last week. When people you love are 11000++ kilometers away, this is one of the few options to be there for each other. Unless you want to spend several thousand dollars and 14 hours in a plane. Which, I may still do eventually this year. I just have to figure it out. At a minimum, 5 states, 11 cities to see everyone i Iove, with a hell of a lot of planning and money burning. For now, facetimes and commiserating. Discussing big things, or nonsensical ones. Just being in the same “space” for a while. It helps a lot.

Songs of the week:

So Good Right Now by Fall Out Boy

Talking to Myself by Lauv

Girl Be Mine by Francis M

-J