Life is short, week 42 of 52
food · Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Life is short, week 42 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: Second booster kicked my 🍑 but it’s better than risking my third season of covid.

Here are my reminders of the week about why we get up in the morning:

1. Pepper moving in with me and Chester. So it hasn’t been easy. In fact it’s been insanely difficult trying to fit two very territorial, not small, headstrong rabbits in such a small space, but we’re finding a way. Her full name is now Pepperoncini (family traditiion) and she’s a BIG GIRL. I love her already. I hope she and Chester find their love for each other soon.

2. Seeing family and eating a lot, too much, after almost 3 years. In traditional All Saint’s Day, it’s a whole day of sitting around mauseleums with family, praying and eating. Since we can’t risk it right now, we travelled as a whole group to go early. Had several moments of note. All the food was amazing. Definitely worth the trek.

3. Meaningful conversations. I’ve had a lot of meaningful conversations lately. It takes a lot out of me, but it matters. Taking the time to show up for myself, and people I care about, matters. It also helps to keep yourself in check, and being vulnerable also helps us keep ourselves real.

Song of the week: Feel so Good by Mase

-J

Life is short, week 38 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Life is short, week 38 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status update: Recent developments are only being able to sleep in alternate “evenings” so my zombie days are more frequent. Antihistamine 3x last week for bad hives, but still kicking.

Moments of the week:

1. Not getting the brunt of a category 5 typhoon. A lot of my countrymen suffered a lot, and actual heroes died saving people from floods. My family and myself were safe. We were actually even able to have a good meal outside, the first in a really long time. I’m very grateful for that.

2. Just having conversations. Humans are social animals and this pandemic has changed how we relate to each other. Just being social is now dangerous. I think that just means that we have to make an effort, even if it’s not our normal.

Song of the week: Bad Boy by Mase

Life is short, week 37 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Work

Life is short, week 37 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status update: Hives but no asthma. So better? Fatigued as heck all the time, and need to carve time out to row.

I know I’m missing weeks and should clean up but I have zero desire to do that right now.

Short moments of the week:

1. Overspending at the grocery store. So I may have bought enough for a cheese plate for 6, and have not started, and randomly a Kewpie smoke mayo that I put on all the fried things, and thinned out my wallet considerably, but it’s great. With all the things going on — I can barely enjoy making a meal, let alone make one. When I do have time I will enjoy it. And I will find peoples to feed.

2. Chester, after 8 years, coming up when I call his name. He really must be bored. It’s SO CUTE though.

3. Turning an emotionally loaded change to something promising. It has not been without challenges — and let me tell you, I’ve been SO UNPROFESSIONAL, but blame it on insomnia and nerves. You never know how far you can go without being tested, and I hope this is a good thing eventually.

Song of the week: Feel So Good by Mase

-J

Life is short, week 34 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Thanks · Work

Life is short, week 34 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status update: Two days of incredibly uncomfortable hearburn had me on my knees. Had me trying to figure out if giving up my start of work coffee and eventual caffeine withdrawal migraines is a bigger pain in the butt. Isn’t growing up awful?

Moments of the week:

1. Spontaneous outings that actually happen. Sunday Korean barbecue decided on 3 hours before and it actually happened. A great meal, then hanging out a friend’s place, then spontaneous massage appointments. Nothing like a super chill semi social day with people that have no expectations of who I can be besides myself. And laughing our asses off the whole time.

2. Chester’s 8th gotcha day. I have had more time with Chester than a lot of people that have come and go. It terrifies me how much of an old bun he is sometimes, but I am cherishing every second. He’s my emotional support animal, and I hope I am his. If that sounds sad, well, I just have to be okay with that.

3. Baseline setting with myself. Over and over, people keep showing me who they really are, and I want to start believing them. I am, at 36 years old, still using these filters of what I want people to be, not who they actually are. Even if they repeatedly reveal the opposite. If I want to survive this, I have to remember to just accept it.

Song of the week: Always on Time by Ashanti and Ja Rule

-J

Life is short, week 34 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Life is short, week 34 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: Phantom cigarette smoke triggering so much of my adult asthma, but hey, I can still breathe at the end of the day. Also losing sleep because Chester has been extra clingy lately and wanting his head rubs WHEN HE WANTS THEM, which is usually when it’s 2 am in the timezone I work. I’m lucky with him — and I am grateful for it.

Moments of the week that made me remember how life is short:

  1. A reset of where you are and who you are. I’ve been working in a space not my own, on my own for a dozen years. It’s been a weird feeling of feeling very comfortable and uncomfortable all at the same time. I’ve worked hard and made a lot of connections through the years, good and bad. I tell people I meet that a lot of my job is translation, and on good days, the translation you’ll see makes a difference with others, and on others, the necessity of it just makes the blood run cold. Last week was one of the cold blooded days where I had to remember to breathe deep and go high when another person went low. It’s something I struggle with after, because too often, when you’re not what people “expect” or are used to, you always have to be the bigger person. It’s exhausting, but when I think about it, I can’t change how people react to me or others like me, I can only change how I respond to it. The way to move forward is a slog, but it’s necessary.
  2. Accepting the limitations of where I am at this point in my life — when it comes to stamina and endurance. Please get your mind out of the gutter. All I mean is being able to stay up late like I used to. Even in my early twenties, friends always found a place for me to nap when we had chill nights drinking. I remember literally being told when I arrive at a space, where I could go and have my nap that I always had to have at some point. This weekend was the same. I had so much caffeine. I took half the day off to energize. It still was me by hour 26 of being so sleep deprived I couldn’t remember what I texted people. I have literally reread texts I sent the day after, and not having the memory of why I did that or what I actually wanted to say. In a room of (mostly) people younger than me, I was fighting to stay awake and wanted to really be there, but I had to admit defeat at some point. It’s a sobering idea, but also something I won’t worry about. It is what it is.
  3. Being in the same space with people I’ve spent most of my waking hours with for the past year or so. Adding to the sleep deprivation, the difficulty of being safe in the time of a global pandemic, the fact that there was a not easy amount of rain the past couple days, people needing to fly in, Metro Manila traffic, all these other things all came together this weekend. If only several hours of sharing a meal and an experience together. These former simulations of people are now actual humans, and I will always be grateful for that.

Song of the week: Maybe This Time by Liza Minnelli

-J

Life is short, week 33 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Work

Life is short, week 33 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: Finished my nebules, and I don’t know if I’m hallucinating the cigarette smoke going into the vents.

Life moments of the week:

1. Chester being back at the vet, diagnosed with stress. I get it Chester, I miss her too. So much so this week, when I realized how much you follow me around now. She was such a big personality, and she loved on both of us so well, that we’re both feeling the hole she left. It’ll get better, I promise.

2. A wake up call. There’s nothing like a jarring realization to reset you. This past week, I got a punch in the gut of sorts and had to walk away for a minute. It was frankly, demeaning, but also, a good way to pull me back to earth. You never really know until it gets called out — how much your efforts mean to people. Two years ago, this would have prompted a lot of emotional reactions. Now it’s more reason to find meaning in not just one part of my life. Including evaluating where I am and where I need to be. Maybe I’m learning to be more mature. Or maybe I already know where I need to get to.

3. Being able to sing again. I have been literally coughing for a month. So much so if I have more than 30 minutes of conversation, I lose my voice. So I haven’t been singing. Not even speaking when I don’t have to. It’s being managed by really good asthma medication (And overtesting against covid) and now I can sing again. And I have been hitting musicals. Lea, Idina, Kristin

Song of the week: This is Me by Kaela Settle

-J

Life is short, week 32 of 52
Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life · Work

Life is short, week 32 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status update: Once a week nebulizing, but an almost everyday relationship with my inhaler. Only one migraine for the week which is a win — but also upping my caffeine intake by a lot with yakult jasmine iced teas. Eh. We do what we can.

Moments of the week:

1. New routines with Cheester. He has been extra clingy with Chibi being gone and has been “going to work” and then “heading back” every day. We may have overdone it with the treats but we live, we learn.

2. Timing. Cheester had mild stasis on a Friday — but also Doc Ferds, our favorite vet was in town out of schedule. I am thoroughly grateful for timing for this instance. We might not have saved our Chibi, but she is saving her Chester(is what I’d like to think.).

3. Time to breathe a bit. I have been running ragged learning new things and making sure we’re able to deliver. It’s challenging, and it’s overwhelming and incredibly stressful, but at the end, we’re growing. The after work moments of being able to laugh at the last season of Brooklyn 99, and restocking the fridge with 3 kinds of ice cream are what gets me through.

4. Dinner/lunch with a couple of friends. Yes I usually just want to sit and listen at the end of my workdays these days. But seeing friends — even if I don’t contribute as much to conversation, is a blessing. Just laughing about silly things. Eating too much. Smelling like Korean barbecue even after two showers. All worth it.

Song of the week: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2

-j

Life is short, week 31 of 52
food · Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Life is short, week 31 of 52

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Status report: Hives 7 days a week, and now nebulizing my asthma — and got my first inhaler. I need to get my shit together. Or get more sleep. One or the other.

Moments of the week:

1. Learning a new skill. A couple friends came over with a full kit and caboodle and spent most of Saturday teaching me and my sister a new skill — putting on our own makeup. Honestly — was much less stressful than I thought. Can I remake the look without close supervision? That’s yet to be proven. But I did order a mirror because there is a shortage of it in this house. Baby steps. I’ve always enjoyed a smoky eye — and was able to create a brown tinted one successfully. That’s not a small thing for a person who didn’t own foundation (until her sister bought the wrong shade and had to give it to her).

2. A group chat. Honestly, this chat keeps me sane a lot of the time. These are wonderful friends and people I respect. They show up, and are a big part of why I’m still alive and kicking.

3. A great cheese plate. Said cousin from the week before gave us ingredients for a heck of an amazing cheese plate. I always make the ugliest looking ones — but this one was styled by said friend, and actually looked fanfriggingtastic.

Song of the week: Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless

-J